


catch my drift

by tenbfireflies



Series: Sunny & Charlie [6]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Domestic Violence, Established Relationship, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Infidelity, Kinda, M/M, Mutual Pining, Period-Typical Homophobia, Period-Typical Racism, Secret Relationship, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2019-10-19 11:32:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17600537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenbfireflies/pseuds/tenbfireflies
Summary: Three more minutes of waiting then Sunny would stumble to the nearest bar and drink until he forgot about the green-eyed fuckhead that had been infecting his thoughts for two miserable years.





	1. honey don't feed it

June 1959

Chicago is still loud and Sunny appreciates that.

The street is crowded with people, some on their commute to work, others simply enjoying the warm weather. Sunny crowds closer to the brick wall he's leaning against as people pass by the alleyway. They ignore him as they go about their days, some being pulled by children, a group of friends laughing, it made him admire the city. Hundreds of people happily living their own completely separate lives right next to each other, bound to never actually connect, yet they come so close.

There's a small crick in his neck as he waits. He rubs at it while he smokes. He decides he'll wait five more minutes. After that, he's leaving, he's tired of sulking in this alley waiting like a loyal mutt that was kicked to the side, left abandoned. Even though it was him who did the abandoning. He spits as a couple holding hands passes him.

Chicago has never been too different from San Francisco, both cities had worlds inside of them that seemed separate from the rest of the country. He loved San Francisco, it was his hometown so he'd always have a soft spot in his heart for it. But Chicago brought back memories that San Francisco couldn't touch. Cold, snowy nights when the heating in their shitty little apartment wasn't working, his arms wrapping around the body next to him, huddled close sharing body heat. Rough skin and muscled bodies, exchanging the little heat that kept them warm for hours on end. San Francisco couldn't touch that.

Three more minutes then Sunny would stumble to the nearest bar and drink until he forgot about the green-eyed fuckhead that had been infecting his thoughts for two miserable years.

Beijing is different from both cities entirely. In some ways better, in some ways worse. China had started out as an escape for Sunny, an escape disguised as a trip to get to know the place he came from, but in reality, Sunny was scared. Of what exactly? Sunny couldn't say. He just knew he had grown to hate the pit in his stomach all those years ago.

So he left. Told Charlie the week before he was scheduled to leave. He'd never seen Charlie so outright hurt before, at least not directed at Sunny. The quiet argument they had after he told him had wrung around in Sunny's head for months after he left. What's worse is most of the stuff Charlie yelled about in their little apartment had been true. Sunny was being selfish, leaving like that, leaving Charlie with only a week's notice like that.

Ten years and a girl with sparkling eyes and a shy smile later and Sunny's back had been for about six months now. And even though Charlie probably hates him, probably never wanted to see Sunny again, he had to try. Charlie had been infecting his mind for months at that point and he couldn't just be in America and not try to find the asshole.

He heard from a friend down in Chicago that she'd seen Charlie. Been there for awhile apparently. He waited a week before he finally caved and bought a train ticket to the windy city, not knowing when he'd be back. It was impulsive, something Sunny would have chastised Charlie for and that only fueled his desire to go on the last minute trip. Not like he had any sort of job he had to worry about.

He waited another week when he got there, trying to find out where he was. He visited his friend, Margo who looked ten years older from when he last saw her, her dark curly hair now streaked with a few grays, the wrinkles around her eyes especially present when she flashed that smile at him, who told him he was working down at the lake. Said he hung around Columbus park a lot. He stayed away for a few days, then drunkenly decided to go the third day in.

He wasn't there the first two times he went there. He'd waited around for hours just watching, subconsciously hoping he wouldn't show. Then Sunny could go back West and forget this ever even happened. He went to the park one more day, told himself if Charlie didn't show that day he'd go back home. Finally just ask out Sandy, she'd say yes, he knows it.

But there he was. Just like Sunny had left him. He was wearing a white t-shirt and jeans, so plain but it made Sunny's stomach flip at the familiarity of it. He has on a pair of black sunglasses, shielding his too wide eyes from the offending sun. His blonde hair is slicked up with what Sunny can also assume is pomade.

He wanted so badly to go over to him, to cross the crowded park and just hug him, run a hand through his greasy hair. Grab him, squeeze him tight, never let go. It had been more than a decade since he's last seen him since he's been close enough to touch.

But he holds back. Sunny doesn't want to call any attention to himself. He was just supposed to come here and see. To find Charlie, to know he was safe. Then he's supposed to catch the next train West and fuck right off, giving Charlie the space he needs. If Eugene were to just show up out of the blue without warning, he'd surely be sent away. Charlie had a life here in Chicago, at least from what Sunny could gather. He had friends and a job working at the docks down by the lake. He was... happier without Eugene.

So Sunny stays hidden, face shrouded by the shadows of the alleyway as he watched Charlie walk and laugh through the park, a woman with curly blonde hair hanged off his arm. They look like a young couple, just married. Promising future ahead of them, 2.5 kids, dog, white picket fence house in one of those new suburbs they're building out here.

If Sunny didn't have it on good authority that Charlie was as queer as the day was long he would've thought the two of them were off to be hitched for sure.

They stop at a bench. Sunny can't hear what they're saying, but the girl is smiling and laughing as Charlie continues talking. Then he takes her hands off his arm and wraps his own around them. He brings her hands to his lips and kisses them once. The girl looks scandalized as she rips her hands away, blush spreading out across her cheeks.

After that, she leaves, not without a final goodbye hug, and Charlie sits down at the bench. He just sits there for a second before picking up a stray newspaper someone left and reading through it. Sunny's brows furrow as he watches Charlie read the newspaper. It's like he's waiting for something.

Sunny watches Charlie in the sun, hair shining like gold, and if he looked up Sunny knows his eyes would glow. Sunny feels the urge walk over again. To touch. It's like there something in his bones that make it impossible to be near Charlie and not touch, not run a hand through his hair, not bury his face in that spot between his neck and shoulder.

After ten minutes of watching Charlie read Sunny can't take it anymore. Can't watch him and not talk. That's all he'll do. Just talk. He can do that. They can do that.

He pushes himself off the wall he's leaning on and steps into the busy street, sun shining on his face. His heart pounds as he walks to the bench. With each step, he gets more and more nervous. What if he turns Sunny away? Sunny was the one who left all those years ago, left him to deal with the aftermath of the war himself. Left him to fight the thunderstorms alone. Sunny feels sick as he sits down.

Charlie hasn't looked up from the paper, now leaning back in his seat as if he were on a fluffy couch and not a hardwood park bench covered in bird shit.

His tongue feels swollen in his mouth when he tries to speak. It's never been this hard to talk to Charlie before.

"Hey," he says lamely. Charlie finally looks up from apparently the most fascinating newspaper in the world and draws in a sharp breath when he sees him. Their eyes meet, brown and green, and it's like no time's passed, except for the fact that Charlie is looking at him like he's seen a ghost. Then he blinks and shakes his head a little bit but then his eyes are back on Sunny's like if he looks away too long he'll disappear. Sunny wants to tell him never. Never again. Sunny won't disappear again. They'll that to drag his cold dead body away from Charlie, now that he can see him again. Now that he can touch him.

But they still don't touch. Sunny keeps his hands in his lap, wrung together to try and stop the shaking. Charlie grips the newspaper almost to the point Sunny's afraid it'll rip.

Finally, Charlie breaths and his eyes scan over Eugene's face assessing for damage.

"What- What are you doing here?" A man walking a dog passes in front of them and Sunny watches the dog sniff at a tree.

"Heard the Giants were playing up at Wrigley, thought I'd come down," Sunny says sarcastically. He almost asks about the blonde woman but swallows it down. Charlie's eyes drop to his lips as he talks and Sunny's reminded of the magnetic pull that brought him here, the need to touch.

"Don't know why you'd travel all this way just to watch them lose," Charlie quips back, a shy smile now breaking out on his face, making it a 100 times brighter and Sunny's heart beat ten times faster.

"You're just mad they left New York, city slicker," Sunny looks away again, stomach flipping as he adds, "Came for you." He feels Charlie looking at the side of his face before he looks around them quickly as if remembering where they were, then looks back at Sunny.

"You left." Sunny wants to say for you. He bites his tongue, swallows down the urge because Charlie's right. He's right and Sunny can't say anything to dispute that. Sunny left, left Charlie in Florida. Left the love of his life behind to 'find himself'. If the positions were switched, Sunny would probably be pissed too.

"I know, and I'm sorry. I-" He's cut off by a humorless huff from Charlie, a dry smile on his face, his sunglasses hide his eyes, but Sunny can guess there's no light to them.

"'S too late anyway." His eyebrows scrunch together as Charlie plays with the edge of the newspaper. "I found someone else," he says it so flippantly like he knows it hurts to hear like he knows what it's doing to Sunny.

Sunny feels his stomach drop like it does sometimes before a risky mission. He feels like cold water has been dumped all over him. Of course. A guy like Charlie. Charlie, the guy who smiles everytime he sees a dog, the way he drinks orange juice every single morning without fail. Of course, he met someone. Someone good for him no doubt, someone who'll treat him better than Sunny ever could. Someone who will hold him during the thunderstorms like Eugene used to. Someone who won't leave to take care of the monsters alone.

Sunny swallows down some of the sick that crawls its way up his throat and looks at Charlie again. He seems sad, lip worried between his teeth as they watch each other. Sunny doesn't ask but Charlie must take pity on him and answers it anyway.

"His name's Eddie. I'm actually waiting for him now. He's got some sort of business deal going on over there." He points to a nondescript brick building in the middle of the street across the park.

"Business deal? What does he do?" Sunny asks. Charlie looks hesitant like he really shouldn't be telling anyone this. But Sunny isn't anyone, he's never been just anyone to Charlie.

"Look I can't say too much, but let's just say it's very important that the deal not be interrupted," he says vaguely.

"And you're just waiting on him?"

"I'm watching out for pigs and plus he likes to see me when he gets off work," Charlie says. He looks around as if he's about to be caught with his hand in the cookie jar and Sunny feels like something is off. Charlie is acting strangely. At first, he thought he was just surprised to see Sunny, which would explain why Charlie is being so skittish. However, the more they talk about his new... partner the more nervous he appears to be.

For a few moments, they're silent. They let the ambiance of the city fill the space between them. They watch cars, couples passing by, new mothers pushing their babies in strollers. Sunny takes out his pack of cigarettes offering one to Charlie, which he declines, before lighting up his own.

Sunny thinks back to the walks they used to take in Chicago, back when they were younger and scared, but so excited to be with each other, to explore each other. Sunny wishes things were simple again. He takes a drag of his cigarette and he feels Charlie's leg slightly press up against his own. He wishes there was no Eddie or curly haired blonde girl. That it was just them, Sunny doesn't care if it's in an apartment or in a fucking cardboard box, if they're with each other nothing else will matter.

But Charlie has Eddie now. Has pretty girl friends and a powerful boyfriend. What does Sunny have? An apartment that essentially is a cardboard box in the worst part of San Francisco and $13 to his name.

"I kinda missed you though, I guess," Charlie says. His glib words betray the open look on his face.

"Don't lie." Sunny watches him as he smokes and tries to look as open. Charlie snorts and they stare at each other some more. "Where are you staying?" He knows he shouldn't ask. He should just leave him be. Go home and try to forget what Charlie's skin tastes like.

But ultimately, Charlie makes him weak, so he asks.

"Eddie, he don't like- He likes to be exclusive. We couldn't- he'd know." Charlie's eyes dart to the brick building, like Eddie's gonna storm out, then back to Sunny.

"I didn't think you knew how to be exclusive." Charlie laughs through his nose, leg bouncing a bit as he watches the brick building doors, no longer partaking in the staring contest between them.

"I mean it Sunny. No funny business, alright?" Sunny felt a pang of anger. Charlie doesn't think he has enough self-control to keep his hands to himself. He stubs out his cigarette on the arm of the bench.

"Jesus, Charlie, I have self-control. You know, not all of us do shit out of impulse and adrenaline," Sunny jokes there's not much actual heat behind his words.

Charlie ducks his head and Sunny is taken aback. "I... I know. 'm sorry." Sunny is taken aback, a different Charlie, a Charlie ten years ago maybe would've into Sunny's attempt at playful banter. Old Charlie would've chewed out something twice as biting and left Sunny almost regretting even trying to joke in the first place. Sunny leans in closer to him, not close enough where anyone would look different at them, just two pals, sharing a conversation at the park.

Charlie almost instinctively drifts to him, bumping their knees together as they sit.

"No, I'm sorry, that was a dick thing to say. I swear I'll keep my hands to myself," Sunny says, raising his hands in the air. The look Charlie gives almost makes him break that rule. He looks relieved and a tired smile graces his lips.

"Take a right on 93rd onto Essex, my apartment's the one right across from Dougherty Park. The place with the blue door, can't miss it." Sunny feels his knee press harder against his own. "I'm in 2B, gotta take the stairs, elevators busted."

Sunny nods as he watches Charlie lips, heart beating rapidly again. For some reason, he feels the urge to ask, "You okay?" He doesn't but Charlie takes a deep breath and stares at Sunny like he had, like it's about to all start pouring out, like he's about to say 'No. I'm not okay.'

Before he can answer, three men clamber out of the building, as if on cue, and Charlie jerks to sit up straighter, his knee leaving Sunny's. The men are laughing about something. They're all different heights and sizes and they look similar.

The tallest one is almost as tall as Sunny. He could almost look Sunny in the eyes if he tried and he's only a few inches taller than Charlie. He has light brown hair, the only one as the rest of the brother's had gelled back black hair. His was the only one that stayed unstyled, yet styled sloppily on his head. He wears a wide smile that barely reaches his narrow eyes. Charlie doesn't have to tell him that that's Eddie.

Eddie may be the tallest of the brother's but Sunny would bet both of the black haired brothers could pick Sunny up and throw him into a building.

Charlie watches them with a passive expression on his face, but he gives away his nervousness with the bounce of his leg, a habit Sunny remembers fondly. Sunny wants to put his hand there, ease the tension with his touch like he's done so many times before. His fingers flex from their spot on his lap, but he doesn't move them. Because Charlie doesn't want him to. Because some asshole named Eddie would know somehow.

The men begin to disperse. "You should go," Charlie says quickly as he stands from his spot on the bench, hands dug in his pockets. Sunny stays seated and Charlie's eyes flick to Eddie whose now walking over, cigarette snug between his lips. Sunny has to see. Sunny has to be sure of his suspicions. He has to know if Charlie's hurtin' in more ways than he'll let on.

Eddie stops in front of them, eyeing Sunny's lounging body suspiciously. Then his skeptical eyes land on Charlie, who, for his part, smiles brightly at him. Teeth and all. Sunny's heated gaze burns holes into Eddie's face when he doesn't smile back. Just pulls from his cigarette.

"Who's this?" he asks, growls really. He reminds Sunny of a werewolf, with his sharp eyes and the shaved beard on his chin. He doesn't see a lot of men with beards out in California and the ones who did usually were too poor to buy a razor.

Sunny stays silent, unsurprisingly, as he glares up at the bearded man, making no attempt to mask his contempt. Charlie takes over the conversation with ease.

"Eugene, he's an old pal of mine, back when I lived in New York. I mighta told you about him once or twice. Gene this is Eddie. He's a real good friend of mine." Eddie narrows his eyes at that, but says nothing about it, taking another drag.

He grunts, not moving to shake Sunny's hand, which is fine because Sunny doesn't either. They stare at each other for a moment before Sunny finally rises from the bench. He stands up straight, making his full height known and just as he suspected, Eddie has to look up into his eyes.

"Nice to meet you," he says flatly before turning to Charlie. "I'll see you around, alright?" Charlie glances at Eddie before replying.

"Sure." Sunny walks away before he can kiss Charlie before he can snap Eddie's neck. 


	2. don't be kind to it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sunny goes to Charlie's apartment. Charlie lets him in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so maybe not every 2 weeks lol, but I will try to update asap. enjoy more angst and slow burn. all kudos and comments are appreciated, happy reading!

Sunny finds Charlie's apartment easily. It was the only apartment in a row of apartments with a large dark blue door. It's not locked when he walks up, but it is heavy when tries to open it, hinges screaming as he opens it.

It closes with a definite bang, cutting off all sounds of the outside world. He walks past the elevator with an 'Out of Order' sign and takes the stairs two at a time, heart thumping when he finally gets to the second floor.

He finds 2B, raps twice on the door, and waits. And waits. Until about 30 seconds when he knocks again, thinking maybe Charlie just hadn't heard him. Again, no answer. He knocks louder until he's practically banging on the door. Charlie's a heavy sleeper. He continues knocking until he hears a door open from behind him across the hall.

"He's not there, jackass." It slams shut and Sunny stops knocking.

Dickhead isn't even here. Sunny leaves with a bruised ego.

Next time around, asshole's actually there.

Sunny only had to knock twice before the door swings open. Charlie stands before him, in a black t-shirt a size too big for him. A little bit of skin around his necks peeks out and it takes everything in Sunny not to reach out and touch skin he knows for a fact to be as soft as silk.

Charlie smiles but says nothing as he opens the door wider and walks deeper into his apartment, letting Sunny close the door behind him.

It's hardly much. The apartment is really just two rooms. A bathroom and the rest of the studio. In one corner there's a small kitchen that looks and smells lived in.

Back when they were together Charlie would cook for them all the time, mainly because it was cheap, but also because he liked it. Sunny could tell by the way he moved around the kitchen with ease back in the day. Knew their kitchen like the back of his hand.

In another corner is a small table with two chairs, scattered across it are papers and books. Magazines. Newspapers. The whole apartment is in disarray. Charlie made no attempt to tidy up the different articles of clothes that littered the floor as he walked to the kitchen.

Music played throughout the apartment and Sunny eyes scanned the room for the source. They land on a record player next to the unmade bed. Sunny just barely recognized it as a Dion song that Sandy had shown him back in San Francisco. Sunny had thought of Charlie as soon as he heard the song so it's fitting he listens to him.

"Was wondering if you'd stop by. Thought maybe you left town again," Charlie says, moving around the eggs on his stove with his spatula.

Sunny feels a stab of guilt but does his best to ignore it. He wants to tell him never. He won't leave again. He's with Charlie until the end from here on out. He swallows that down.

"I came by a few days ago, but you weren't here." The bacon Charlie's frying makes Sunny's stomach growl. He walks over to the blonde and leans on the counter next to the stove. He watches Charlie scramble the eggs, hips swaying to the music.

Each night I ask the stars up above

Charlie's always had an inability to stay still whenever music was playing. They could be anywhere, a park, the library, if there's music playing you could count on Charlie subtly moving to the rhythm. Once, when they were piss drunk he told Sunny his mama used to tell him he had a bug in his bones that couldn't help hoppin' to the music.

Sunny's just glad that that part of Charlie had stayed the same, a Charlie he once knew and loved. A fun, happy Charlie that danced to music like he couldn't control it. That Charlie only came out when they were alone, when it was just the two of them and they could pretend like the world didn't exist. Sunny loved that Charlie. A Charlie that was his.

Why must I be a teenager in love?

"So what're you doin' out here anyway? When did you get back from China?" He looks at Sunny eyes full of questions and Sunny holds eye contact, not daring to look away.

"A few months ago. I went back out west, San Fran."

"Back home, huh? What happened to China?"

"It didn't... work out. I got mixed up with the wrong people." Charlie snorts.

"What else is new?" Sunny laughs softly.

"Yeah, well. They weren't all that bad I guess." Charlie looks up from his eggs, eyes narrowed.

"Eugene Xun, did you get... laid in China?" Sunny rolls his eyes with a smile on his face.

"I was gone ten years, Charlie. A man has needs." Charlie fake gags and Sunny punches him in the shoulder.

"I'm kidding. Who was he? Or she?" Charlie says with genuine curiosity. He turns off the stove and gets two plates. Not bothering to ask if Sunny wanted any. And Sunny will take it because Charlie made it.

"There were a few."

"Whore."

"But Mei stayed for a while. She was great," Sunny says it with a lump in his throat and Charlie must notice Sunny's change of tone because he stops scooping out the eggs to look at Sunny fully now, giving him his full attention.

"What happened to her?" Charlie goes back to fixing their plates, but still listens closely.

Sunny looks down at his hands. With a stiff jaw, he responds, "She got too close and she got hurt. Because of me. We tried to make it work, but we just wanted different things." And partially because Sunny was in love with someone else but mostly because Mei wanted something more.

She wanted a life, the same life Charlie would have with that blonde girl at the park if things had turned out differently. Mei wanted a house and kids and a husband who didn't dream of emerald eyes, and golden hair and a Boston accent like thick smoke wrapping around his lungs. Any life Sunny would've given her would've been a sham. Sunny would've never been happy, which meant they could've never been happy.

So he packed up and left. Said goodbye to her face, like a man does, and even though she cried and slapped him and begged him not to go he still told her face to face because she deserved that. He didn't deserve her in the slightest, never had, but she deserved that.

Charlie looked down at the plates. "I'm sorry to hear that." He sounded genuine and he probably is. Sunny, looking down, nods and clears his throat.

"You were right, though," Charlie smiles at that and looks back at him, and Sunny is grateful for it.

"Yeah, how so?"

"San Francisco's a lot more queer than I remember it being." Charlie laughs, eyes crinkling up at the side. He hands Sunny his plate, piled with eggs and bacon.

"Told you. Place is almost a queer man's dream. You been down to them bathhouses yet? They as crazy as they say?" Charlie teases.

"About as crazy as the ones we went to in New York." Charlie just gives him a smile, maybe thinking about the memory, and Sunny almost leans down to kiss at his jawline before he remembers they're not supposed to be touching. Sunny has to keep his hands to himself.

They sit on the bed, side by side against the headboard, completely ignoring the messy table. It reminds Sunny of before the war, and a little bit after it, when everything was peaceful.

"So what, it takes you months to come find me?" Charlie asks, faking offense, but Sunny has a feeling there's a bit of truth behind it. And he wants to tell him the truth. That he's the only thing Sunny's thought about for the last two years. Even in Japan, when he was with Mei, he couldn't get the blonde out of his head. Couldn't stop dreaming about his eyes.

Sunny just shrugs and moves around the eggs. "Thought you wouldn't want to see me." Which isn't a lie. He had been afraid of Charlie's reaction, that he might turn Sunny away. Sunny wouldn't've been able to deal with that if Charlie had rejected him. He'd try to go on, but who knows for how long.

Charlie cuts up pieces of his eggs, purposely not looking at Sunny. "I always want to see you." He says it so quietly that if it wasn't for Sunny's improved hearing he wouldn't have heard him. It makes his chest warm as Charlie shovels the eggs into his mouth, some of them falling away.

It's a while before either man speaks again, falling into a comfortable silence and letting the music fill the silence. But Sunny is curious.

"So you and Eddie." He says Eddie's name like it's a disease like he hates the taste of it on his tongue and he does.

But Charlie says nothing about it.

"He's a good man, real sweet," Charlie smiles as he says it, Sunny can't tell if it reaches his eyes.

Sunny bites into a piece of bacon. It's crunchy and burnt, just how Charlie likes it. "Didn't seem like it yesterday."

"Yeah, well, he had a bad day. Plus you weren't so nice either if you remember," he says with a mouthful of food.

"He treat you good?" Sunny can see the blond shake his head out of the corner of his eye.

"You gotta lot a fuckin' nerve you know that? Who the fuck are you to come in here and ask me some shit like that?" The change in mood catches Sunny off guard. He looks at Charlie fully now, setting the plate in his lap. "You were gone Sunny. You fuckin' left. You. For ten fuckin' years. You left me. Just because your jealous or something doesn't mean you get to come back here start talking shit about my boyfriend-"

"Jesus Christ, Charlie. I'm sorry, I just get this vibe from him, but I'll leave it alone," he seemed to be apologizing a lot on this trip. "I was just curious, alright?" Charlie looks at him skeptically for a few seconds before digging back into his eggs.

"You and your damn curiosity. You know what that shit does to cats right?" Sunny rolls his eyes.

"I'll be sure to keep it in check."

Charlie hum around his fork. "See that you do," he says around a mouthful of food. It's a couple seconds before Sunny asks:

"When did you two meet?" And Sunny's not looking but he can almost hear Charlie roll his eyes.

"Jesus Christ, Sunny."

"It's just a question!" Sunny squeaks out, voice uncharacteristically high. Charlie's quiet for a few more seconds and Sunny's afraid he won't answer.

"We met at a party about five years back, we didn't hook up until three years ago though," he says softer this time. "Told me I looked like James Dean," he giggles at the memory. Sunny pauses, fork halfway to his mouth.

"He did not say that," Sunny says in disbelief. He doesn't see it. James Dean had a rough look Charlie could never pull off. Charlie can be intimidating, sure he can even be downright scary if he really wanted to be, but even then he's got what Sunny can only describe as a puppy face. No matter how threatening he is Sunny can only see a puppy. Probably because he's fucking in love with the guy but Sunny digresses.

Charlie snorts and puts his now empty plate on the small side table next to his bed. "He did. My hair was up like his then, so he wasn't far off. You know I met him once? Before he... you know," And just like that things are normal again, the argument from before forgotten.

"James Dean?"

Charlie nods. "I was out west for a few years back in '51. I was in the pictures." Charlie beams and Sunny's heart melts at the pride in his voice as he tells Sunny about the movie he was in, how he'd even won an award for his performance. He never went to the ceremony, but he won it. "I was on the cover of a magazine too. You ever seen it? I always wanted to see your face when you saw it."

Sunny tells him, no he's never seen it. He jumps up from the bed and hurries to the crowded table and starts shuffling papers around. After a few seconds of shifting, he finally finds the magazine and walks back to Sunny with a triumphant grin. He shoves the magazine into his hands and a smile stretches onto his face when he finally looks at it.

It's one of those TIME magazine's Sunny sometimes read. The cover is a picture of Charlie from the shoulder's up. He has a lazy smile stretched across his face as he looks at the camera with sunglasses over his eyes, almost covered by the hair on his forehead. A crown is perched atop his head and above that, the text reads simply, 'King of Queers'.

"You fuckin' dumbass," Sunny laughs. Charlie sits back on the bed, closer than before as he looks at the magazine.

"They tried to have me arrested you know. Said I was being charged with sodomy, so I told them to blow me and left the state. Haven't been back West since," Charlie explained.

"And how many times did you get your ass beat for this?" Charlie smirked.

"I don't get my ass beat okay. The question you should be asking is how many people did you have to beat up for this, and the answer is not enough." Sunny rolls his eyes.

Sunny flips open to the page where they talk about Charlie more. He lied to them about essentially his entire life. He told TIME he was born in Boston, which is true, in 1930, which is not. He, apparently, has two sisters and a brother all raised by a single mother who worked harder than anyone he'd ever met. In one of the paragraphs, Charlie talks about his inspiration, sunny days. Sunny stomach burns with affection.

"'Sunny days' huh?" Charlie ducks his head down, cheeks turning a bright shade of pink. He reaches for the tabloid, but Sunny tugs it out of reach. "Hold on, I'm not done. I wanna hear more about your process." Sunny darts off the bed, walking away from Charlie, back turned, as he reads the article aloud. "'Charlie Humphry', love that by the way, 'the true rebel of Hollywood has told us he's willing to share the secret to his success.' How noble of you Charlie, to let them in on your secret powers. If you didn't say jizz I might be a little disappointed with you, bud."

"Okay hardy har har, give it back you dick." Charlie has already darted off the bed and is chasing Sunny around the small apartment as Sunny tries to read the article.

"'Yeah, I just see the script and I just really try to feel it,'" Sunny puts on a horrible Boston accent as he ducks under Charlie's arm when he tries to grab the magazine again. "'I try my best to put a little bit of myself into the characters.' Wow, truly inspir-" Charlie finally just says fuck it and tackles Sunny to ground, magazine flying out of his hand as they fall.

Then, they're on the floor, chest to chest, Sunny on his back, Charlie on top, hands on either side of Sunny's head. He stares at Sunny with wide eyes, magazine forgotten as they take each other in.

Sunny staring up into green, a green he hasn't been this close to in years, green he's only dreamed of until now. No dream could ever do those eyes justice, no dream, no picture, no drawing or painting could ever be able to match the raw power those eyes have over Sunny's body.

Sunny chances a glance at his lips and there they are, pink and little wet from Charlie running his tongue over them and he wants to kiss them so badly. Wants to fall into the warm, velvet smooth curve of his lips and just lose himself, lose each other.

When he looks back up Charlie is staring at his lips with such intense heat, Sunny's afraid he might burn holes into them. Then Charlie's leaning down, ever so slowly, like he might get burned, and finally, Sunny thinks and waits for the soft press of Charlie's lips.

The shrill ring of the phone shatters the moment like glass and Sunny's never wanted to hit anything more, never wanted to completely destroy something so viscerally in his entire life. Because Charlie snaps his head up so quick, he might have whiplash. He scrambles off Sunny and rushes to the phone. Sunny just lay on the floor, arm over his eyes as he tries to will his hard-on away, not caring if it's noticeable or not.

"Hello?" he hears Charlie say. He's quiet for a few seconds before he responds. "I'm just at my place. I'm with Su- Eugene." He stops talking so quick, it's obvious he got cut off. He's quiet again as the person on the phone talks.

Begrudgingly, Sunny stands up and leans on the counter across from where the phone is, right in Charlie's eye line and just watches. Charlie doesn't look at him as he listens, instead choosing to twirl the phone cord around his finger. Then he looks at Sunny and something close to fear flashes across his features. "Yeah, sure. I'll ask him. Sure. I'll see you then. Love you too." Sunny hates hearing those words come out of Charlie's mouth and not be directed at him.

"What was that about?" He asks when Charlie hangs up. He doesn't ask who it was because he already knows. Charlie wraps his arms around his chest, it makes him appear smaller and more vulnerable. It's something Sunny's never seen him do before.

"Eddie. He has a job in a few hours, asked if you wanted to come help." Sunny furrowed his brows.

"What kinda job?" Charlie shrugs, pushing off the counter and to the dresser near his bed.

"You never know with him and his brothers. Could be a shake-up, or it could be a bank robbery, who fuckin' knows," Charlie gripes as he changes out the too big shirt and into one that actually fits. Then sitting on the bed to slip on a pair of boots.

Sunny doesn't think on it much. Anywhere Charlie is, he wants to be. He feels like a cat begging for scraps after being fed once. Willing to pick up anything Charlie drops, even if it is just being able to walk next to him and listen to him talk about how funny and sweet Eddie is. Even if that means tagging along in Charlie's new life and meeting his new boyfriend and actually being nice this time. Maybe.

He nods and moves to stand in front of Charlie who doesn't look up as he ties up his boots.

"Alright." Charlie does look up at him then, in surprise mostly, a little bit of disbelief.

"Are you kidding?"

"No. Let's go." Charlie stares at him a couple seconds longer before standing up and grabbing his keys. They don't talk about the almost kiss, but Sunny doesn't care because he's walking next to Charlie down a street he recognizes. Every so often he feels Charlie's arm brush up against his and everything seems okay. Sunny wants to believe that.


	3. his heart would not take flight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy! comments and kudos are appreciated!!

"So," Charlie told him they only had to walk a few blocks to get to Eddie's brother's house so they might've been taking there time. Walking leisurely through the streets instead of rushed like the rest of the street seemed to be. "Who was that girl you were with at the park the other day?" Sunny asks.

Charlie walks with his hands in his slacks, shoulders hunched as they passed the Chicago population.

"What, you're stalkin' me now?" There's a slight edge to his voice, but there's a smile on his face, betraying his tone.

"No. It's just, you guys seemed close? Is she a friend?" Sunny tried again, softer this time, hoping the trick still works. It does and Charlie's shoulders lower just slightly.

"Yeah, somethin' like that. She's Eddie's girl," he says.

"His girl? I thought he liked being exclusive." Charlie shrugs, looking off to the side at the passing trolley. Sunny's eyes narrow. Something in his brain clicks and he stands up straighter, turning towards Charlie. "He likes you to be exclusive."

"It ain't that big of a deal," he says it strained, still not looking at Sunny, instead choosing to focus on his shoes.

"Just don't seem fair 's all." They turn a corner and the amount of people lessens.

Charlie finally looks at him, sunglasses perched on his nose. Sunny's own reflection stares back at him as Charlie watches him.

"What're you doing here Sunny?" Charlie asks like he's tired and Sunny's caught off guard. There's a beat of silence before Sunny answers.

"I told you. I came to see you." Sunny shrugs, eyes on the street perpendicular to them.

"Okay, you saw me. What're you still doing here? Why are you going to Eddie's with me?" Confusion laced his tone as if he just couldn't comprehend why Sunny would stick around. As if Sunny had a choice.

The cars on the street are a lot more comforting than this conversation. A twinge of anxiety unfurls in Sunny's gut. He's never liked being questioned.

"I just, I don't know, this Eddie guy gives me a bad feeling, you know? Something feels off about him like he's grenade about to go off or something. I don't know."

Charlie doesn't say anything for a few seconds, but Sunny can feel his gaze on him. "Yeah well, it's a lot more complicated then you think and you ain't gotta worry about Eddie. I can handle myself." You shouldn't have to handle yourself, Sunny wants to say, wants to scream. He bites his tongue instead, swallowing down the words. "Plus, you know, it ain't all that fair for you to come back here after ten years-"

"You gonna keep bringing that shit up?" Sunny slaps his pockets.

"You gonna keep butting your nose into my relationship?" Charlie says. Sunny pulls the box of cigarettes out, draws a stick, and hands it to Charlie.

Charlie just looks at it and then back in front of him, not saying anything. Sunny rolls his eyes.

He wiggles the cigarette next to his face. "Come on, they're Lucky Jack's."

Charlie sighs and jerks it out of Sunny's hand, a shy smile on his face. "I thought you said Lucky's were too harsh."

Their fingers brush when Sunny hands over the lighter, his heart beats a little faster, like a kid in high school. Like they were back in the Annex and Sunny couldn't understand why the green-eyed boy made his palms sweat so bad. Made his heart flutter like no girl ever could, ever would.

"They grew on me."

Charlie hands the lighter back. Placing the stick between his lips, Sunny does his best not to stare as he breathes in deep like it's the first cigarette after a long day.

"Why do you think Eddie wanted me to come?" Sunny almost didn't ask, fearing Charlie would react the same way as before when Sunny brought up Eddie. However, if the sigh he pushed out as Sunny finished his question was anything to go on, he's most likely been wondering the same thing.

"Who knows. He seemed fine over the phone so I don't think he's... mad or anything." Sunny knits his brows, but Charlie just smokes his cigarette, choosing not to elaborate.

"Does he know that we used to like, fuck? Or, you know, that we were together and stuff?"

Charlie smiles and turns his head toward Sunny. "The charm just radiates off ya, pal."

Sunny tries to scowl, but can't help the smile that slips through. "Come on, asshole. You know what I mean."

To get out of answering, he smokes his cigarette. Sunny watches him until he sighs.

"What do you want me to say? He's my- He's important to me, I told him enough."

Conflicted thoughts of betrayal race through Sunny's mind. He's always been a private person, hell, Charlie and Margo are about the only people in Chicago who even know Sunny was ever in New York. Charlie should know that Sunny wouldn't want Eddie of all people to know any part of his history, boyfriend or otherwise.

But, it's Charlie. He's dumb, not an idiot. He wouldn't tell Eddie anything that would hurt him in any way. Sunny hopes.

"If you're worried about what I told him, don't. It was only good things, I promise." He smokes some of his cigarette and a cheeky smile on his face when Sunny gives him a skeptical look. "Alright, I mighta told him you had a small pecker."

Sunny shakes his head and looks away with a smile, huffing out a laugh.

"So you're lying to the poor guy?"

Charlie giggles and Sunny hates how it makes his heart flutter. "It's a white lie, it's not hurting anybody."

"You're not the one with the small pecker, chickenshit." Sunny wished he could take a picture of the smile that Charlie gets when Sunny uses the nickname.

They're both halfway done with there cigarettes when Charlie stops them in front of a dingy apartment. The walls outside, that weren't covered in graffiti, are painted a dirty beige color that does nothing for the appeal of the building. If it wasn't for the open windows with fans hanging out and the kids playing on the sidewalk in front of it, he would've thought it was abandoned.

"Watch your step," Charlie says as he buzzes the doorbell. Seconds later the door unlocks with a loud click and Charlie pulls it open, holding it for Sunny, before he lets it slam shut behind them.

The inside looks no better than the outside, smells worse too. The dirty carpet is covered in several mysterious stains, Sunny notes as they walk up the stairs to the second floor.

They stop in front of B13.

Charlie knocks three times, and the door swings open swiftly after his third knock. Eddie appears wearing a simple white shirt that's tucked into a pair of black jeans. A devious smirk cuts into his cheeks as he opens the door wider, one arm spread out welcoming them into the apartment. Charlie tenses next to him and lets Sunny walk in first.

The look in his eyes is anything but welcome. He gulps as he steps past the threshold of the doorway, into the lion's den that looked like a lived in apartment.

A waft of heavy cologne and old cigarettes invade Sunny's nostrils. He coughs when he takes a drag from his cigarette and feels no guilt about the cloud of smoke he breathes out, watching it as it disappears.

Two people are in the living room, lounging on a leather couch when he walks in the room. The older one has his boots perched on the coffee table in front of them, lazily eating a bag of potato chips straight out of the bag, watching an old western on TV.

The younger one, who can't be older than 18, looks up from his book when Sunny walks in and squints his eyes behind a pair thick black rimmed glasses, but says nothing.

They both have thick dark brown hair, in contrast to Eddie's light brown. They all have the same eyes though, narrow, dark brown, almost black.

Bits and pieces of a muted conversation go on behind him, but before he can actually tune into what they're saying Eddie is in front of him.

"Eugene, we didn't properly meet last time. Sorry about that by the way, it was a bad day," Eddie says. Sunny shrugs.

"It's fine." Eddie's face says he was expecting Sunny to say more, but Sunny just smokes his cigarette. Eddie clears his throat, breaking the silence.

"These are my brother's. The older, funny looking one is Leo and Danny's the runt. You can ignore them for the most part, useless." Leo flips him off eyes still glued to the television. " So, Charlie tells me you gotta knack for gettin' into places you shouldn't be."

Something small warms up his chest at the idea of Charlie bragging about him. Sunny inhales once more, cigarette burning his fingertips. There's an ashtray on the coffee table in front of the TV that Sunny puts out his cigarette in, temporarily blocking the view for Leo, who glares as he straightens back up.

"Depends on what needs gettin' into." With nothing to do with his hands now, Sunny shoves them into his pockets, fiddles with his lighter.

Eddie smirks. A chill runs up Sunny's spine. Eddie nods his head, beckoning them both to follow and walks into the dining area, on the other side of the apartment.

He stops in front of the large dark wood table, a map of Chicago laid on top of it, different neighborhoods circled, some crossed out. Charlie leans against a windowsill across the table, arms folded across his chest. Sunny leans a shoulder on one of the banisters separating the two rooms.

"You lived in Chicago right Eugene?" Eddie asks. He relaxes against the table, facing Sunny.

Sunny's eyes narrow before he can help it. They dart from Eddie to Charlie in a second. He at least has the decency to look guilty, gaze focused on his crossed arms.

Sunny looks at the ground, clears his throat and straightens his back.

"Yeah, a few years." Eddie makes a face. A face Sunny can't tell is good or not. The look is wiped away as soon as he stands up fully.

"You ever heard of the neighborhood Oakview?" The name dings off recognition in Sunny's brain. He shrugs.

"Rich people neighborhood. Big houses."

"Very big houses." He turns around and looks down at the map. "See this house right here? Circled it and everything."

Sunny moves closer and peers down at the map, eyes finding the circled house instantly.

"What about it?"

"Well, it's the biggest house on the block and filled to the brim with too much shit. And I have it on good authority that the asshole family who owns the place just went on a two-month ski trip to the Rocky Mountains. All the stuff in that house, just ripe for the taking."

Sunny eyebrows drew together. "What's so special about this house?"

Eddie rubs the back of his neck. "I've had a bit of a run-in with the owner before. The house is a bit of unfinished business."

"Wait, whose house is it?" Charlie pipes up. Both Eddie and Sunny look up, taking in his guarded posture. Eddie drops himself into a chair and leans back lazily, composed and calm.

"Just one of the fat cats from city hall. A bureaucratic prick who thinks he can play God with people's lives." Charlie stares at him with squinted eyes, until they widen abruptly and he stands up straighter.

"You're going after Munk again, aren't you?"

"Charlie-"

"Jesus, you are," Charlie doesn't give him time to answer anyway. "Didn't he say the next time he saw your guys around one of his houses he'd kill 'em?"

"That ain't exactly what he said-"

"Bullshit, that's basically what he said."

"Well, he ain't gonna be seein' one of my guys, is he? He's gonna be seein' Eugene-"

"That ain't the point." Charlie clicks his tongue, shakes his head and looks into the kitchen. "You're playing this wrong and you know it."

There's a serious edge to Charlie's voice, one Eddie picks up on almost immediately because his eyes narrow dangerously, as he angles his body so it's facing Charlie directly.

Sunny is still leaned over the map, but he eyes Eddie from the side, his body next to Eddie's and directly across from Charlie.

"What's the point then, smart guy?" Charlie says nothing, choosing instead to stare down at his folded arms. "The man can make his own fuckin' decisions, no one's forcin' him," Eddie's says, voice low and just on the edge of threatening. "Why don't you relax and get us some drinks, huh?"

When Charlie doesn't move Eddie glares and jerks his head in the direction of the kitchen, like a final warning.

Before they can see what would happen, Charlie swallows, head bowed in submission, cheeks red. He pushes himself off the wall and walks through the doorway separating the kitchen and the dining room.

Sunny's vision is clouded red as Charlie's huddled form retreats into the kitchen, like an animal with its tail tucked between its legs, afraid of being snapped at again.

Sunny's jaw grinds tighter and tighter until his teeth physically hurt. Eddie breathes in deep next to him, as if he's also trying to subdue his anger. He would laugh if his rage wasn't close to overtaking him.

This is who Charlie's been with for three fucking years. Dealing with this every day.

Maybe Charlie's been running all these years too.

"So, you in?" Eddie finally asks, any trace of a threat now gone from his voice.

Sunny ignores him, too angry to even look at him, let alone open his mouth and say words. Doesn't even know if he could say anything if any kind of communication would come out except for the physical kind. The kind where Sunny shoves his fist down Eddie's throat.

He pretends to be studying the map, and before Eddie can say another fucking word, Charlie's back with three beers, one held snug between the crook of his elbow and his chest.

He drops one in front Eddie, who says nothing, instead choosing to glare at him again. Charlie ignores him and places one in front of Sunny.

Sunny looks up and tries to make eye contact, tries to ask, 'Are you okay?' with that weird mental thing they have when they can just look at each other and have an entire conversation with just their eyes, but Charlie won't look at him. His eyes are cast down on his bottle as he sits across from Eddie and opens his own beer, leaning back into his chair with faux composure.

"Who's Munk?" Sunny finally asks, but his eyes stay on Charlie, who looks up at Eddie before realizing Sunny is looking directly at him. He looks back and forth between the two across from him, not entirely sure what to do. Eddie answers before he can say anything.

"Just some slimeball who thinks he can shit on the little guy and get away with it. He's a fuckin' goon." Sunny looks back at Charlie as soon as he finishes talking.

"That's it?" He asks Charlie again, who shrugs.

"He's got his fingers in all the going on's around town. Nothing gets signed, built, or tore down without him knowin' about it," Charlie says as he sips his beer. Sunny hasn't even touched his.

"Does he work for city hall?" Charlie shakes his head and thumbs around the hole on the beer bottle.

"Not exactly. 'S more of a 'you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours' typa relationship. As long as his donations keep going in, city hall looks away when things get messy." Sunny hears Eddie sigh in frustration beside him but pays him no mind. Charlie, however, seems to deflate a bit.

"Messy? Messy how?"

"Messy as in when he blows people away on street corners and alleyways and nobody does shit," Eddie finally cuts in. "Now, if you two faggots are done gossipin' maybe you can answer my fuckin' question. Are you in?"

Sunny keeps his eyes on Charlie, watching his reaction to that. Watching the way he looks down at his hands. The way he takes a sip of his beer, eyes closed, throat bobbing as he swallowed. Sunny looks away with a gulp.

Eddie watches them with furrowed brows, jaw ticking as he eyes Sunny up and down like he's waiting for a challenge. Eddie's chest heaves faster the longer Sunny looks at him and says nothing. Sunny know's he shouldn't but he smirks as he watches Eddie fume.

"Well, it's been a while since I've done something nefarious, so I guess I'll help out." Sunny's never been much of a talker, but he knew enough to deflate the tension in most situations, mostly thanks to watching Charlie.

Eddie just watches him for a second, contemplating frown etched onto his face. His eyes snap to Charlie who is staring at Sunny, however, upon noticing Eddie's glare chooses to look at his beer bottle instead.

They all watch each other with bated breath, Eddie waiting as if to see if Charlie says anything or shows a tell, so he can catch it and exploit it probably.

Then Eddie's eyes snap back to his own and he smiles a mile long smile.

"Alright then. Let's meet up tomorrow, see what dirt we can kick up around his place," Eddie says. Sunny stands up straight and nods. Charlie doesn't say anything and an awkward silence fills the room.

Sunny read his watch as he pulls a cigarette from his pocket.

"I better get going, have a meeting with a friend." Sunny looks at Charlie who snaps his head up when Sunny speaks. He nods and stands up.

"I'll walk you out," he says quickly before Eddie can say anything about it. Eddie watches them, nodding in Sunny's direction as they walk out.

His brother's say nothing to them as they pass, but Sunny doesn't care. Charlie's back is far more interesting as they walk out of the apartment and into the warm summer air.

"Jeez, is he always like that?" Sunny gripes.

Charlie squints as he looks down the street. "Who?" Sunny rolls his eyes.

"Who do you think? Your prince charming." Charlie scoffs.

"He has his good days," Charlie says quietly, voice almost being drowned out by the loudness of the street.

"Charlie..." Sunny doesn't like this. What was that saying? If it looks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck.

"Where are you going?" Charlie asks, changing the subject.

Sunny sighs, and blows out smoke.

"I told my boss I would talk to a partner of his out here. Get into places I have no business bein' in," Sunny smirks. Charlie smiles and he looks like he's about to say something, but then he gulps and shakes his head.

"You be careful out there, yeah?" Charlie says.

"When have I ever?"

Charlie chuckles and shakes his head. "Fuckin' dickhead." He seems to think over his next words. "I'm serious, be safe." Sunny swallows and nods before Charlie goes back inside, door slamming behind him with a finality that doesn't sit right in Sunny's stomach.


End file.
